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this isn't fine. i'm not fine.

but i will be...

I was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of thirty-seven. Blogging is my attempt at sorting through the thoughts that roll through my head every minute of every day. Maybe it'll help someone else along the way.

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Side Effects

I struggle to find the mundane. I suppose it’s the curse of an anxious and active mind. I’ve focused these last several weeks on...

thomassarahnicole

Discovery to Recovery

I have a blister on my baby toe. It appeared four weeks ago after going for a walk on the beach with the endoscopy nurse and colon...

thomassarahnicole

what now...

I’m not sure what I expected when I came home. I think I had a certain expectation that I would be released from the hospital like a...

thomassarahnicole

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TRAIN OF THOUGHT

Side Effects

I struggle to find the mundane. I suppose it’s the curse of an anxious and active mind. I’ve focused these last several weeks on...

Jul 31, 20213 min read

Discovery to Recovery

I have a blister on my baby toe. It appeared four weeks ago after going for a walk on the beach with the endoscopy nurse and colon...

Jun 23, 20213 min read

what now...

I’m not sure what I expected when I came home. I think I had a certain expectation that I would be released from the hospital like a...

Jun 16, 20213 min read

Fine.

It’s all so emotional. The nurse’s notes report that I am doing remarkably well, but I am feeling remarkably stuck this morning. Our...

Jun 14, 20213 min read

Road Trips

I feel discombobulated. I have begun the process: taken two dulcolax, and mixed gatorade and miralax in a pitcher like it’s lemonade. ...

Jun 9, 20212 min read

CCU: Phase I

This thing taunts me. I feel physically well. In fact, this morning I woke up and put on makeup (tinted moisturizer and mascara on the...

Jun 4, 20213 min read

Ebbs and Flows

I’m an optimist. At least I try to be. But when something bad happens I am an uncontrollable worst-case-scenario sort of person. This...

Jun 1, 20213 min read